It was as if he hadn't eaten in days, weeks, and his zeal for the chicken or lamb or whatever he was sucking and smacking on was actually a matter of life and death. I have never heard someone eat so loudly and with so much slobber.
At one point, he was eating fast enough, that something lodged in his throat. If I didn't think this man could do anything louder, I was wrong. His hacking cough was guttural and disturbing. I swear I could feel the chunks of half chewed chicken, lamb, potato, as well as the invisible spray of germs splatter across my exposed neck.
I can imagine all the sauce and spices lodging beneath each fingernail as he dug in with both hands, disregarding the knife and fork. I'm sure some of the sucking noises was him sucking out the remnants from his fingernails.
The food was mediocre, at best. Listening to a man consume food in the most audibly disgusting fashion really made it worse, but also an experience. A disgusting, repulsive unique experience.
Your Broad Abroad,